First and foremost, it is imperative that you read this post in its entirety. Do not read a couple sentences or stop half way through, you must finish the whole thing.
Now, I want you to call your best friend, facetime her, or make a visit to her house. Then, I want you to tell her what I am about to say.
You can see your cellulite through your leggings. Your muffin top hangs over them and I can’t believe you would go out in pubic like that. You need a longer shirt to cover your fupa because no one wants to see that. Also, you should start buying bigger shirts because I can see your rolls your bra makes, its disgusting. And your double chin, it makes me want to throw up. How could you ever let yourself get like this? It’s no wonder that you are single, who would want to date that? No one wants to cuddle with a ball of fat. Do you tell a guy that you are fat before going on a date with him? You want to be sure that it isn’t a deal breaker, because it would be for me. Oh, and I know its hot outside, but you shouldn’t wear tank tops. Your arms are big and they jiggle, it’s one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen. You can either wear longs sleeves or a jacket and sweat it out. Of course, you will sweat more because you are fat and get hot faster, then you will smell, and no amount of perfume will help, but that’s the price you pay for being overweight. Do I think you should stop eating? Absolutely not, that is so unhealthy. But you should cut carbs, sugar, meat, and dairy. Only eat 500 calories a day and workout three time a day. Stay home, be ashamed of who you are, don’t date, and cry when you look in the mirror because you deserve it. You are a worthless piece of trash.
Now look at your best friends’ reaction. Is she crying, is she angry, is she standing there in disbelief? How do you feel? Do you feel relieved, satisfied, happy? No, no you don’t because you would never say that to her, you would never even think about saying that to her, and most importantly, YOU WOULD NEVER THINK ANY OF IT. You know that your best friend is a goddess, a queen, and the most beautiful soul. You know that her looks do not define her worth, that she is drop dead GORGEOUS in every way, and ANYONE would be lucky to date her.
If you wouldn’t say those terrible things to your best friend, why would you say them to yourself? I’m guilty of this, in fact, I’m the queen of this (hence this post). I’m tired of looking in the mirror and yelling at myself, saying things I would ever say to anyone else. I’m tired of sitting in my car, driving, and screaming out loud at the fat that is rolling over my jeans. I’m tired of feeling ashamed anytime I leave my house. Sure, there are things I could do to lose weight, but that isn’t the issue at hand. The issue is body positivity, self-love, and acceptance. Without those, weight loss is impossible.
So, if you, like me, are struggling with self-love, try talking to yourself like you would talk to your best friend. What would you say? Would it sound something like this?
You are beautiful, inside and out. You have curves and imperfections, but they do not define you. Your weight is not a measure oh how big your heart is. If there is a man who doesn’t want to be with you because of your size, he doesn’t deserve you, he doesn’t even deserve to be in the same room as you. Do not let the opinions of others shape your beliefs. I’m sorry you feel disgusted by your body and I’m sorry you are struggling, but I want you to know that I don’t see what you see. I see a strong, bold, independent women who brightens the room with her smile, radiates kindness, and makes the world a better place just by existing.
Be kind to yourself, love yourself, and talk to yourself like you talk to your best friend.
Beauty From Ashes 